Heather has an open, well-known and well-documented relationship with her mom that is as close as any two people can be, in my opinion. So this is my turn to say that I loved Sandy, and it was with a deep sadness I watched her struggle with cancer and eventually pass from this life this year.
I hate funerals and the hardest part for me is the viewing. There is just something different between talking about someone dying and actually seeing their bodies vacant of a spirit. To me it is akin to the disparity between hearing about a catastrophe and witnessing it first hand. It becomes something you never forget, that reaches you at a different level. At Sandy's viewing I was overcome by sadness and I couldn't contain it. It was such a sense of loss, and I cried for her, and for her daughter, and for her husband, and their family, and for my family. And for me. I had not felt the loss so keenly prior to that moment, and I haven't felt it like that since, but I remember it, and it was overpowering. And to think that this awful experience of death is a part of life. Such sadness.
The day of the funeral was hotter than usual in Phoenix. Definitely too hot to wear a black suit, but wear it I did. I stood in the sun, next to my mother-in-law's grave, and thought about her, and how she was at almost every major event in my life over the last 13 years. There were babies born, kids' soccer games, my marriage, shopping trips to Costco, my family's sealing in the temple, my Eagle Court of Honor, my first full-time job, multiple surgeries and sicknesses. Our first apartment, the next 13 times we moved, Holidays including Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Easter, 4th of July, our birthdays and babtisms. There were times we disagreed, even argued, but in the end we were family. We got over it and learned to live with our differences.
Sandy's legacy lives on in each of her grandchildren who will carry the sense of self-worth and belonging that came from the unconditional love of a devoted grandparent. Thanks, Sandy for all you have done for me and my family. We will miss you. God be with you 'till we meet again.
